I always make Calpernia come with me to alumni events because she’s smarter than most people I know who went to Ivy League level schools. Usually I have a few interesting conversions with accomplished people at the Ivy Plus Society, but this night we mostly had the world’s weakest lemon drops and sat in a swing. Then we went to Toi, a rock-n-roll Thai restaurant where a friend works, and he plied us with three bottles of sake. I had not been that trashed in a LONG time. We couldn’t even finish it all, and anyone who knows me knows that I never leave a drink unfinished. And if you’re wondering, her name tag says “Just Ask.” This seemed to upset a few people, which was kind of our goal that night anyway.